I haven’t written here in a while, and I regret it. I have been busy with other projects, life. Everything. I came today to tell you the story of my morning.
I had just returned from a morning visit with a friend. I was feeling open, and a little raw. Our home is so sunny and it heals everything in me. My couch is piled with books I want to read. A promise of relief. My daughter reading on her iphone at the kitchen counter. She received a subscription to Scribd (Like Netflix for books). She kept chatting and I was reading interesting articles online.
I heard a thumping and assumed it was the dogs or Kaya’s knees on the wooden counter. It came again from my front door. I answered it, sure to find Jehova’s Witnesses. It wasn’t. A good looking man, with kind eyes and handsome hair, youngish – like maybe late 40s stood there holding a carved wooden box and a large plastic yogurt container. A woman was with him. She was bleached blonde. She had a hard face, like an ex-addict or current. A smoker voice. She was thin and wearing black. She had red-rimmed eyes.
She explained. “We are so sorry to bother you…..” She used to live here many years ago. Both of her dogs had died recently. Athena was a dog of hers, her ashes were in the wooden box held by the man. Her name was engraved in metal and adhered to the box. She called her dog “Theenee.” She loved this house and she wanted to know if she could scatter the dogs’ ashes around the property.
Of course she could.
I told her about my dog Ernie’s death. Just recently and how we buried him here on the property. She asked about the owner of the house.
I told her she had died.
She gasped and screamed and turned her back to me and sobbed.
I felt horrible, I stammered out an apology. I hadn’t known her, I wasn’t sensitive, I was so sorry she had to hear the news like that. The man smiled at me kindly, thanked me for my sweetness. He said she would be ok. She cried and cried and I went back inside. My house is all windows, so as I ate my reheated hash browns and “spiegel eier” at my kitchen counter. I watched him hold her as she read some words from a paper and threw the ashes around. They walked around a bunch and then I watched as they walked up my driveway toward the mountains. It’s a long driveway and after awhile, they stopped and he held her, hugged her forever.
When I looked again, they were gone, I thought. But they weren’t. He was sitting in my driveway holding her on his lap. She was crying and crying. Holding on to him. They sat there forever. They could be still there, I haven’t looked for the last 1/2 hour. I wanted to stop peering into their lives and witnessing her pain.