So….how is it?
Everyone’s asking! In Cids (our local store), at work, picking up $1 a lb peaches trucked in from Colorado, everyone is curious or maybe just polite…but they are asking, “So how is it being without your kids? “
Well it is now the third week and it is starting to feel more normal. A new normal. Falko and I have really not had much time without children in our relationship. As described here, Falko and I became pregnant and parents within the first 14 months of our relationship. A whirlwind of a year for which I am DEEPLY grateful. I wasn’t in my right mind, neither was he and THANK GOD we weren’t! (I’m not a believer, but you know what I mean!)
Falko and I have always been close and this last year has brought us to an intimacy I didn’t even know was possible. My own raw vulnerability, this year, and his deep support moved our marriage to its next level. I imagine it like this. His determined consistency. He is calling this new life together, “our honeymoon.” And it feels like that. I, sometimes, can’t believe this can be true. How do I deserve such love?
I miss the girls. (We both do.) I miss the daily interactions, our dinners. I miss hearing every single detail of everything. I miss smelling their sweet necks when we hug. Kaya has to put up with lots of hugs on the weekend when she comes home.
And I worry about them, but not as much as I thought I would. I am not anxious about their well being. This is probably because they text, call and write often! They are happy. They call with the good stuff and they call with the hard stuff…so I am in the loop and I am not left to wonder and imagine. My iPhone dings and dings and dings all day long – someone always has something to say. Little videos and some photos get sent. I feel connected through technology as well as in my heart.
And so we celebrated my Birthday alone (or rather, just the two of us) – the photo below is my Birthday breakfast. But I felt loved and with my girls…..in our hearts.