I thought I would choose to stay home today. All day. It was the way I was feeling. I was “off-off” – special terminology for not on-call at all. Not “first-call” and not “second-call.” These days are precious too. Just as precious as the on-call days. The girls were on the mountain and I was home. I wanted to savor my “loneliness.” In a good sort of way. You know, with tea, projects, some writing, some purging. A good book stretched on a quiet couch.
A persistent friend convinced me to drive to Dixon for a hike. And gosh, I am so glad I did. I would have languished in my sunny room all day – satisfying too. Yet – this was perfect. Exactly what I needed. Again. These days have been perfect. Aspects of perfect. And even perfect in hard ways too. It is the only way to see it.
I spent yesterday in the pools at Ojo. Again. Great conversation with time not normally had. Relaxed time with real thoughts. An intimacy acquired without effort. I wish I could describe the great luxury that is Ojo. Natural pools, steam, fire pits with the pinon scented smoke – to live for. This smell is sustaining. We picnicked in front of a fireplace, baguette, sliced meat, cilantro, mint pesto. Crackers. And water. Massive amounts of it to hydrate our parched selves.
(I had assumed that I would not wake in my own bed this morning. I thought I would be called to a homebirth last night. I was mentally prepared. Imagined it. It was a Wolf Moon. And this woman is not ready. She doesn’t feel ready, and often, those are the babies that come. It’s the thrill of the surprise. True trickster babies. But not one peep. Tomorrow, on my day. I’m sure of it.)
And today. Just the drive through the canyon was worth the outing. And this friend – well when some say, “hike” they mean - afternoon stroll. When I say hike, I mean long, long walk. Fast paced. Far. When others say hike, like today – well. It’s scaling rocks. Finding places to pull up, and step. I was out of breath. Often. I continued talking, but was very aware of my breathlessness. A tad embarrassing. Incredible views. Insane. Perfect. Again.
Popcorn with butter and salt. Green tea and good conversation. A similar background. We are east coasters – and I like to remember that part of myself. I came home with a stack of books. Can’t wait to read. So grateful for the day and the sun – for the insane landscape that I get to call home. And awe at the choice of lifestyle, I witness. Magic.
I’ve been having a burgeoning relationship with another woman who is from New Jersey. She grew up only miles from where I did. Our trajectory is leading us towards coffee. I know this, because we couldn’t stop talking next to the olive oil and salad dressings. Then we found ourselves in a deep conversation while picking out cheese. Others politely asked us to move. She told me an entire story, one that I wanted to hear. (An important distinction in Cids as I am often privy to stories and questions) And then we began another conversation and could not stop – even at the cashier. I was late for my next event.
I value these relationships. All of them – deeply.