A year and some more….

I never really take the time to reread any of my posts. My dream is to compile this entire blog into my own personal journal/book one day. One for each of my daughters. A documentation of much of their life. When I do sit down and read posts from years gone by, I am overwhelmingly grateful. There are so many forgotten moments written about and described. I experience them again. 

So today, I will make a hot chocolate and sit down and read about our last year. And remember. Thank YOU sweet readers for commenting, “liking” and being there with warm comments. They are special to me.

Simplicity

Out of My Control

Letting go of THINGS

Simplicity in Action

Homeschooling

Sassy Kaya and our Homeschooling Adventures

Math – it can only get better

The Quilt

How I know Homeschooling is working…

Sweetly Painful or Smile and Sigh

Catching Babies

Homebirth 40 mins from town

This is what we do

Thank you for Not bleeding!

Born Eight Years ago

Another Superlative

Unassisted

Enjoy!

Some fun links for you……

Some great links that I love and want to share with you this week!!

Some of the most important skills all kids should learn!

I love this post about homeschooling your kiddos!

Incredible Art installation

Why I am so obsessed with finding gratitude……

Last Year’s Valentine’s Day! - So insane!

On Focus…..A new blog I have been enjoying

Infusions

 

I’m so glad we homeschool, because these years are going so fast. Before we know it, they will be off into the world. Independent. They are well on their way, already. Homeschooling allows so much time together. I can soak them up and we can be there for them when they  need that from us.   So…. I am grateful for these late night, exhausting, emotional conversations.

I wish I could infuse any or all of my experience directly into the tea that they drink. I love you Kaya.

Delectables

It is September. A new school year beginning, an internship continuing.  We are trying to use all that is in the abundant garden – putting it “up.”  Our Viva Birth! gala is coming, quickly. Elizabeth’s memorial is being planned and readied. The air is getting that crispy feeling. I am never outside enough these days. Perhaps that will be a goal today. One of them.

To do today:

1. Be outside. Walk the dogs. Sniff the air.

This week I began making cilantro pesto to freeze. Our cilantro went to seed, it flowered. I think I rescued much of it, while feeling horribly guilty that I had waited that long to harvest it. I know the same is happening with our basil as I write. I will pull beets today to make a little room for the remaining ones to grow a bit larger. Beets with butter and chicken for lunch today.

Kaya has diligently been using the zucchini. She made muffins (oversized cookies) with chocolate.

Last night we had a sweet and small dinner party with clients-turned-friends. (This is always an interesting phenomenon.)  He is a writer, one I respect deeply. And admire. She is an artist and horse trainer. I love our connection and enjoy the conversations. Michael wrote “Isadora and Joshua: a True Tale of Loss and Love in the Holocaust” and much conversation centered around the book and his travels as well as Falko’s childhood in East Germany. Politics were fun too – Kelly described a letter she  wrote yesterday to Obama, a long, rambling letter telling him her true feelings and some disappointment. We laughed a lot imagining Obama coming to dinner in Dixon. (Dixon is the tiniest town with one co-op, many artists, fruit orchards, it is nestled deep in the gorge along the Rio Grande. It’s a haven to the local generations of Spanish and an eclectic mix of older hippies who had moved there to homestead in the sixties. It’s truly a bit of heaven yet riddled with politics and a bit too far for us to live, though I would like to.)  Kaya vomited and Luke (their four-year old son) was very concerned, attentive and proclaimed to love her. We will visit them soon.

So now, my daughter is hanging over my shoulder on the couch, reading each word as I type it. “It’s time for math, mom!” So here we go, another day of homeschooling.

Math – it can only get better!

Glad today is a new day.  Do you ever have those sort of days, where everything is going along swimmingly, your heart feels ready to burst with all the joy you feel, the light is perfect, the house is relaxing, yummy snack potential, births on the horizon, kids phenomenal – nothing to worry about and then that day comes and it splats around you!

Math did it for us! It is harrowing for my daughter  and I. (Name withheld by request) Seriously – I don’t know what it is. We hate doing math together, or we love it – but mostly when we love it it is because we are so incredibly relieved that it isn’t as hellish as we expected! We keep cooking up new ideas to take pain out of the math.

 

• We’ve gone to cafes and worked there, in the public eye where we will both be on our BEST behaviour.
• We’ve filled the table with yummy snacks.
• We’ve anticipated ice-cream after a good session. (That sounds a bit like bribery, but it is not bribery, it is just timing.)

I have tried crocheting or sewing while she’s working, to keep focused and not to feel impatient. It isn’t the solution. We can talk about it later. We lay in bed last night, evening light dusky, after dinner, and talked and talked. It was a stream of consciousness kind of conversation. We reflected on what went wrong in our math. (And the rest of the evening as well…..) We each related 5 things we could have done better. Anonymous daughter said, “Can we alternate them?  You say one, then I say one and so on?” So we did.

“I could have been more patient.” Me

“I could have been less annoyed.” Daughter

“I could have been less frustrated when you got it wrong.” Me

“I could have eaten more.” Daughter (referring to low blood sugar)

and so on.

It is hopefully a learning experience. We are going to do math earlier in the day today, make sure we’ve both eaten and really, seriously, with awareness try to keep our humor. It must have something to do with my own math phobia when I was a kid. I do, actually, enjoy math now. Teaching the girls math has instilled an appreciation I never had. I’ve relearned everything and realize it wasn’t so hard. But that is exactly the problem. I keep forgetting that these concepts ARE hard for daughters. They seem easy to me, but not to them. It’s not good. Then my pressure and exasperation with them/her makes it even harder.  So. Forgive me – I will get better at this.

and so will you!

Living in the Light

It always takes a bit of preparation before I can completely focus on writing my blog post. Coffee needs to be had, perhaps even breakfast eaten. Kaya makes breakfast mostly. Today she made noodles with tomato sauce, her favorite. The house is quiet, Kaya is working on her homeschooling. (I hope!) I’ve been uploading photos taken with amazing light last night – insane light, really. And I have been relaxing. Yep. It’s been quieter around here. After a super intense early morning yoga class followed by the yummiest orange juice and almond croissant,  a home visit in Dixon (with the car keys left in the ignition of my locked car and the ensuing adventure of finding someone who could jimmy it open), I worked all day yesterday on my blanket – my huge, wildly chaotic-feeling, blanket. I’m just putting on the border and then I can’t wait to put it on my bed, take a million photos of it and show you! Embarrassing, but true.  I listened to great neuroscience and happiness podcasts while crocheting, drank tea and felt completely, one hundred percent happy.

House guests are gone,  we have an overdue mama and many more in the window. I feel like there will be a birth soon, tonight perhaps.

In the middle of our last birth, after a night with no sleep, one of our apprentices told us she wouldn’t be able to continue the program. We sat in the pink birth room, Joan and I on the bed, the apprentice on the edge of the birthing tub.  Many factors played into her decision, one was the fact that she has two small children, one still nursing. She was sad, but matter-of-fact. Her face calm, open. My disappointment was immediately tempered by my adrenaline rush at the thought that Treska would be able to continue for two more months! My heart leapt, I had to keep calm. It has been, probably, one of the most amazing experiences in my life, working side-by-side with my daughter as she learns the intricate details of midwifery. I see her confidence grow, I see her passion, her determination and her unwavering enthusiasm. (Have I written about this before?) How can homeschooling get any better?

We are trying to go to the MANA conference this year in Canada together. She is applying for a full scholarship for the cost of the registration. If she gets it, I will pay for mine. We definitely can’t do two. My grandfather lives in Erie, Pa and the conference is near Niagara Falls in Ontario.

So here we are…. Kaya still working, I will get up, finish up my bill-paying, put a load of laundry in and begin to chip away at my list. Kaya would like to set up a trade at a horse ranch around the corner from us. She would like to stop by and ask if she can muck out the stalls in exchange for riding lessons! I like the ambitious thought, she already has her red cowboy boots on!

Chocolate for Breakfast!

Chocolate covered raisins and peanuts for breakfast! It is what was left over after a long night, with sleep, and sunrise baby!  And another labor possibly today, already we know!!

I love this life. I truly do. On my way home I picked up one of Kaya’s friends, and those two are off “exploring” through the sage-brush. The dogs are with them, and I can hear them barking a bit in the distance. I’m uploading pictures, drinking coffee and eating (wolfing down) the most fantastic potato salad ever, made by Falko!  I love being able to sit outside, and don’t really want to go to sleep!  The day is beautiful, perfect temperature and sunny, sunny, sunny. I hate the idea of crawling into bed right now and missing out on this day.

We’ve all been busy. Treska was off gallivanting in Rhode Island helping a friend with her small children. She flew home alone and navigated layovers in Chicago. We are striding, with giant steps, towards a fully independent teen! She came home to a busy clinic and births! We spent the night at the Birth Center last night as a young mama labored with courageous determination and strength. (I got massive amounts done on the blanket I’ve been working on…. more on that soon!) Treska did her first newborn exam, in the morning,(under supervision of course) and listened to respirations and heart of this sweet cutie-pie baby. She did a fantastic job and really is making huge progress in her understanding of the big picture. I love seeing her pore of her textbooks – it’s like she cannot get enough! I know that feeling!  To see her with our other apprentices – such awesome women, is such a joy!

And Miss Kaya!

What has she been up to? Besides her daily homeschooling routine, she just finished a three-week Theater Camp! She played an apprentice Witch – somehow, I like the synchronicity of my two daughters… apprentice Midwife and apprentice Witch!

She had lines to memorize and dances to do! She enjoyed it. After 7 (!) performances, she was ready to take a break from her first passion!  August 1st, she will try-out for Missoula Children’s Theater as well. It has been a busy summer – productive and full of deep learning. For everyone!

Children's Theater

Working Hard!

One of the wonderful things about this fire is the amount of work and homeschooling we are getting done around here. In the summer I feel an urgent need to be outside every moment that I am not in the Birth Center. Hiking, gardening – or even just sitting in our courtyard.  The smoke has kept us indoors. So hard – horrible, really. But – it has definitely made getting some of our bookwork done for Oak Meadow easier.

Treska has been at the Birth Center every single day doing an internship for the summer. She arrives at 8:45 and leaves when clinic is done. She attends prenatals, postpartums, births, well-woman exams. She is learning all sorts of skills and how to just observe. She reads and reads and reads midwifery journals and books in her in-between times and does the hard, grunt work that is necessary to run a Birth Center as well. She has a notebook with her that she writes down all her questions  in. She also makes lists and lists and charts with highlighted words and sentences. Little bits of yellow everywhere. She writes all the birth stories down. (She has attended 3 in the last week!)  She attends the classes on Thursdays. It is pushing her knowledge and challenging her intellectually every single minute. I am proud of her. She comes home extremely exhausted. I know it is because her brain is just working so hard to process things on so many different levels. She is coming into contact with lifestyles that she hasn’t seen before. She has seen different parenting styles, different food cultures, communication differences. She is surrounded by amazing apprentice women who are supportive and friendly.

And Kaya! Every morning Kaya receives an email with her list of assignments for the day.  She loves lists and she loves structure.

Today’s list looks like this, for example:

Hi Sweet Kaya!

Here are your lovely assignments for the day!

1. Take the dogs for a good 15-20 minute walk this morning, before we go.  The smoke isn’t as bad right now – and we all need a good walk!

2. Piano for 15 minutes.

3. One page in cursive about  your feelings surrounding the fire.

5. 10 problems each in addition, subtraction and division level 6.  (Lots of good negative number practice)

6. We will do the next chapter in Math together.

7. GERMAN CHAPTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can catch up by just doing one today.

8. Reread one history chapter and read the next one with a paragraph about it.

9. Begin to look up info about Eleanor Roosevelt.

10. Work on Meissen paper. (3-5 pages typed)

love you, love you, love you!

Looks fun!

Mom

She divided her work into manageable chunks. We will go to the Birth Center in the afternoon and she decided to do a lot of the academic work there. She loves this method – and I do too. I think we both like the routine. I like being able to look back and see what we have accomplished.

Math has been a bit challenging for both of us.  We have been doing it together and sometimes an atmosphere of annoyance or frustration will take over. We slip in and out of this. We try to reset the mood with snacks and tea or breaks, but sometimes it doesn’t work. I do feel like it is getting easier each time. Today we  went to a local middle-eastern cafe to work on math. We ate yummy home-made bagel sandwiches with eggplant, avocados and onions. I drank a ton of water and was quiet while watching, waiting and correcting her work. It helped it feel more fun. We stayed for three hours and really finished an entire Chapter. She did it well – over and over again until she got it right.  We are almost done with her math book for the year and that will be cause to celebrate.

I feel good about our progress, we are definitely constantly learning. I see much forward motion……

Learning

I read Fanny Harville’s  homeschooling blog and felt inspired to catch ourselves up in our homeschooling adventures. My original intent for this blog was to chronicle our homeschooling (and our farm project) with the children. It was a fun way to keep track and to truly see and show what we are doing and why we even homeschool. It is for family, friends, skeptics and supporters. Mostly it is for me! I am a “documenter”! I love documenting our lives, my daughter’s lives. I think forward to the days when they will read through these stories and remember so much of their childhood, and their teen years. What a gift it will be!

Homeschooling!

There is never, ever enough time in a day to learn and to do all the things we want to.  I need weeks and weeks to just follow-up on the learning and absorbing we did on our European vacation. Before Europe, Kaya had been steadily working on her curriculum. She had made great progress in all of her Oak Meadow books. She was assigned cursive every day, she read at least one German chapter a day. We made lists for her to complete. I’ve been having her write a lot of papers recently. I’ve been enjoying seeing her style of writing and we’ve spent some time on her grammar. Because she is a voracious reader, her grammar and spelling are quite good – this makes her a natural writer. We’ve done many European maps. I wanted the girls to have a perfect understanding of the physical space Europe occupies. I wanted them to have an idea of where they were in the world and how our travels would be. They did.

Treska was deeply immersed in her “100 Great Literature” reading list and Algebra!

In preparation for our trip, both girls prepared reports and presentations on Hungary. This was a fun project and gave them an insight into the land and its history and culture. I believe the larger context enabled them to absorb their experiences more deeply.

During our trip, our learning was endless:

• Did a sightseeing tour in Budapest (something I had never done and always wanted to!) We learned so much about the sights and history of Budapest. Because we did it twice – it really began to sink in!
• Went to the famous Turkish Baths
• Mapped our way to Leipzig through Vienna from Romania
• Stopped in Vienna and went to the Stephensdom
• In Leipzig – the girls’ hometown (and Falko’s too) we went to the Grassi Museum and spent hours following the rooms full of ancient artifacts, tools, clothing all the way up to the 1800s. Fascinating to be a part of a culture so old, coming from a culture so young
• DDR Museum – A chock full museum in the center of Leipzig depicting the “Change” from socialism to now…..
• A trip to Meissen and a visit to the Bergburg and Albrecht’s Castle – Treska and I spent an hour in the room filled with portraits of women, queens and princess of the Bergburg. Soft chairs were situated throughout the hall. We sat in the chairs and listened to the stories of the women. The stories were eloquent and absolutely arresting. I loved this room and listened to every single biography. (I am now reading (in German, I say proudly as I never choose to read German) a historical novel set in Meissen and the Bergbur about a Midwife!)

• We went to Berlin to have a wonderful time reconnecting with an old friend of Falko’s.   Kaya laughed aloud reading Calvin and Hobbes, in German and we walked and walked  throughout the city. We went to Checkpoint Charlie’s museum. I really wanted the girls to understand what East Germany (DDR) was and to get a feeling and even an understanding for  the country their father is from. Oma and Opa told story after story depicting the times before “the change.” The museum, though sensationalist and poorly organized,  did a great job of adding a visual history to the oral one the girls have been receiving their whole lives.  The stories, depicted in the museum,  were personal and emotional and I am glad we went.

Checkpoint Charlie

• Burg Gnandstein with a tour through the castle’s museum. I feel the girls really got a good sense of the way life was in the earlier centuries.
• As we drove through Bratislava and bemoaned the communist regime’s destruction of many old buildings and the construction of  new, gray, ugly buildings so typical to that era, we read about the split of The Czech Republic and Slovakia. We discussed the history of the Hungarians and the Turkish….. It’s truly easier to understand when in the region. It’s interesting to be somewhere and we all felt desperately hungry for information, for some sort of context or way of understanding what we were seeing.  I will always associate the 1000 kilometer drive through the Czech Republic, Slovakia and Austria with the learning of history.
• Walking with Peter through Budapest, eating ice-cream, we learned so much. We visited. He loves his city and knows his city so well – and he shared all his information. Treska fell deeply and madly in love with Budapest.
• We went to the opera! We were treated to Mozart’s “The Magic Flute.” I think this may have been a highlight of my entire life! Kaya had seen this opera in Santa Fe last year and we all knew the story. My mother-in-law also went over the story in the morning with the three cousins and even sang some of the songs for them!
• A visit to the Gewandhaus – Leipzig’s orchestra boasting a 250 year history. Phenomenal pieces played. Another highlight. Wonderful to take advantage of so much culture in one short month!

Anyhow – I am inspired to record many of our experiences in this blog post. I don’t want to forget them. I am unable to even begin to realize the impact this month has had on our lives and on our learning. So much more has been understood about ourselves, our culture and about Europe. The trip has encouraged questions about identity and nationality.  The girls truly personified the process of reflection. When one travels, one’s own life becomes reflected. Questions  have been asked and answered and the beginning of a deeper exploration has begun for my daughters.

We will begin to do projects that will further contextualize the travels and the experiences.  I’ll leave you with a photo of Kaya on Walhalla and a small excerpt from a 4 page paper she just completed about her personal experiences with the travels.

Walhalla, Regensburg

“Have I mentioned that we went to Regensburg and looked at the famed Walhalla?  We did!  It was amazing.  We had brought a picnic and we just sat feasting our eyes and eating Camembert on freshly baked rolls. Amazing.  Walhalla is a big  building that looks very Greek. It was built by a mad king as a tribute to all German-speaking historical figures.  Inside, though we didn’t go all the way inside, there are hundreds of carved marble busts.  What I LOVED about Walhalla was that this mad king wasn’t sexist, and included women in Walhalla.  Amazing.  ”     

 

 

 

 

 

More Art

I arrived home tonight, flopped on my couch and I can’t get up. Dinner was made, tea was made, a glass of wine was handed over. Still, I don’t want to get up. I’m warm, almost a bit too hot at the moment. The house is quiet. The view is completely dark now. I did sit here and enjoy the entire sunset – the gradual color changes. I’m tired. It’s been a long weekend. Lots of driving today – to Albuquerque to do an errand. A fully worthless errand, failed. I spent the day in the car, stiff. The car full! The girls and I listened to three different podcasts as we whizzed by the high, rocky mesas in the canyon. A TED talk about disabilities and blindness, and two episodes of This American Life captured our attention as we searched the trees for the bald eagles Eloy (“the blood guy” – the driver for Tri-Core labs) tells us about every afternoon as he gathers our vials of blood and other labs.  We listened to the podcasts as we dealt with the news of our dead goat. Well – she wasn’t our goat anymore. She hasn’t been for months. We had to choose to leave the goat project as we left our farming. But the girls were attached to Pippi in a goat kind of way. They milked her for an entire year – 4 out of 7 days a week. They knew her good sides and her bad sides. She died two days after giving birth to two beautiful baby goats. We hadn’t seen her in months and were planning to visit the babies yesterday or tomorrow. So this news filtered in and stayed with us as we drove to ABQ. More to think about. A sadness and shock prevailed. But it was mixed with the sun soaked valley. The impossibly green grass was uplifting. The rock house, half way through the canyon, caught our attention. We moved on.

In an attempt to make the day to Albuquerque feel inspiring and fulfilling we went to a Science Museum. The problem was – it was a children’s science museum. My children are really not “those” kind of children. I mean – young. Little. They aren’t wearing cute sandals, high ponytails and aren’t carrying juice boxes and wearing name tags. I have young adult children. I had forgotten – this was really and truly a children’s museum. A little children’s museum.  I have to hand it to them both – they humored me for a while. I finally recognized that we were misplaced after the second class of fourth graders screeched by. The teachers were clapping (One of those teachers was from Taos, by the way. And yes – I did attend her birth 6 years ago.)  and giving the 20 minute warning. I just wanted to bolt.  My kids were not little kids anymore.   Luckily we discovered this mistake within 15 minutes. Treska sweet talked the older volunteer at the door to give us a refund. It was a substantial admission price. And we left – laughing, relieved. I apologized to the girls.

We found the “old town” and got out and walked. Albuquerque is fragrant with flowers . Spring is way ahead of the game down there. They are much lower than we are. It reminded me of Berkeley – not so moist, but with a flowery smell everywhere. Cheerful, green and colorful. Well – not cheerful actually. The colors were cheery, but the city, itself, was not. We walked to the Albuquerque museum and were rewarded with an experience we were craving.

High ceilings and the “glossiest” brick floor greeted us in the lobby.  A friendly woman sold us our tickets and gave us a discount, just because she could. We spent most of our time in the permanent collection. Gosh – so stunning. The girls and I loved soaking in these images. An eclectic mix of different styles, genres and colors. Kaya fell in love with a photo-realistic painting of a coyote with a mesa background. We all three loved the “Lady, Buy one Chicken Please!” best.

This museum made our day worthwhile. For me. Really it did. I feel so happy in museums. We talked about all the museums we hope to visit in Leipzig, Berlin and Budapest next month. I love the quiet, the simple open spaces, the white walls. I love the time and luxury I can spend walking the large rooms and just admiring the art. It reminds me of the millions of afternoons I spent at the MOMA or Met in NYC in my early 20s. I’m glad my girls get a bit of that experience – even way out here in the boonies.

A sunset drive with the famous New Mexico light accompanying us on our drive home. It’s a familiar drive, one we have done hundreds of times – yet phenomenal each time. After lugging in all the groceries we bought in Santa Fe – I flopped on my couch to drink my tea. And I haven’t gotten up yet! (Well once.)  Good Night!